dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
