you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
someone get that fucking seahorse.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
