hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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