I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
