Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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