Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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