hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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