he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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