:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
