all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
