you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
