gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
