Just mADE A PArabola og urine
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
