Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
