yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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