Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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