We should be called the Road Head Warriors
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
