Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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