I wish my penis had an off switch
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
