sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she peed on how many people?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
