why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my being single is dangerous.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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