we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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