I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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