so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
