I don't think brook has ever known best
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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