So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
