I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
