we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
