My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
