it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
