i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I didn't notice because vodka
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
