Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
