My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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