You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
