I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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