My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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