I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
