Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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