she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
