I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
