I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Still dying that you shit outside
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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