Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
