At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
