WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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