But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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