you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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