Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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