I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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