p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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