Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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