i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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